DEATH of the strong black woman...

while coming to terms with the reality of being a human being, instead of a mythical lie, the strong black woman passed away

sources say she died of natural causes, but those that knew her know better. they know she died from...

being silent when she should have been shouting to the top of her lungs, smiling when she should have been raging

she died from being sick and not wanting anyone to know because her pain might inconvenience them

she died from an overdose of other non-reciprocating people clinging to her when she didn't even have energy for herself

she died from loving damaged males who didn't even love themselves thus choosing to only offer her a crippled, devalued, unloved reflection

she died attempting to raise children alone

she died from the lies her grandmother told her mother and her mother in turn told her about life, black men, sexism and racism...

she died from being sexually abused as a child and choosing to take that secret truth silently everywhere she went every day of her life, exchanging the humiliation for guilt and back again

she died from asphyxiation, coughing up blood from secrets she kept trying to numb herself away from, instead of affording herself the kind of healing and support she was entitled to as a human being, but that status quo dictates only white girls could afford and deserved

she died from being responsible, because she was the only one that would be held accountable

the strong black woman is dead...

she died from being a teenaged mother, an early thirties grandmother, and a muled to death forties ancestor

she died from being dragged down and sat upon by UN-evolved females posing as "mothers", "sisters" and "friends"

she died from tolerating Mr. Pitiful Useless Low to No Value male, just to claim she "had a man" at her house

she died from foolishly choosing to sacrifice herself for everybody and everything without consideration much less reciprocity, when what she really wanted to do and be was something magnificently other

she died from bold outright lies as well as lies of omission because she allowed herself, unchallenged, to be heavily conditioned/programmed to fight to protect said lies to the bitter end in order to not "bring the black man down"

after all, general consensus is, the "black man" is more worthy of protection and provision than she

she died from tributes from her counterparts who should have been matching her efforts instead of showering her with dead words and empty songs

she died from choosing to accept lies that prevented her to show weakness or need without being chastised by the lazy and mentally hazy...

she died from hiding her real feelings until they became hard and self destructive enough to invade her mind, body and soul like malignant tumors

she died from attempting to do the heavy lifting in order to provide all by herself

the strong black woman is dead...

she died from never being enough of what black men wanted and/or being too much for the black men she wanted

she died from being too black and again for not being black enough

she died from being misinformed about her needs, mind, spirit, body and the extent of her royal capabilities

she died from knees pressed too close together because respect was never part of the "foreplay" that was being callously shoved or forced upon her

she died from loneliness in birthing rooms and aloneness in abortion centers

she died with her veins bursting open from the hatred and neglect bombarding her from all directions

and quite a few times when she refused to die, when she refused to give in, she was killed nevertheless, by the lethal non stop images of blonde hair, blue eyes, euro standards of beauty, while simultaneously being rejected, ridiculed, used and abandoned by the deceitfully duplicitous OJs, Kobes, and TOs

sometimes she was stomped to death by the racism and sexism, executed by ignorance, willful most times, while she carried, provided for, and protected the "family" in her belly, the "community" on her head, "black love" in her heart, and the "black race" on her back...

the strong black woman is dead!

or is she?

life is about choices ... i choose to let the "strong black woman" die in my life

actually, WITHOUT reservations, i deliberately killed her!

only YOU can choose what place the "strong black woman" will hold in your life...

i choose the blessings of my femininity and humanity. i choose truth, wisdom, love, peace, and light heartedness. i choose protection, provision, and safety. i choose freedom to be...without apology...the gloriously created...ME...


i ask you to seriously consider YOUR choice in the interest of...


self love~ self acceptance~self respect

consider this a public service announcement...

so...i know this is random.

nevertheless, i feel compelled to post this public service announcement.

i love the leggings trend. it is quite comfortable and flattering for some body types.

however, i am noticing another trend that is quite uncomfortable and unflattering to behold.

ladies, unless you are trying to look a mess, with your business on front street, please consider the following about this trend:

leggings, in order to look good, classy, and flattering must be worn with a longer top. tunics work well. the top must cover your behind. the above pic is a good example of what the trend done properly looks like.

if you are out in public wearing leggings with a top that does not cover your bottom, please know that folks can see right through them! especially, when they are the cotton/spandex blend.

this random post was born of the eyesores i am seeing with alarming frequency that are walking around with their behinds out, some even commando. it seems the wearers are misreading the stares as positive attention.

consider this a public service announcement written in the interest of ...

...self love~ self acceptance~ SELF RESPECT

there is no way to "title" THIS for me

hear primal screaming...

child abuse, child rape, child prostitution punishable with...

life in prison...WITHOUT parole PLUS four years????????????????????????????????????????

where in the world is our...


self love~self acceptance~self respect?

stronger than me

this could be wrong...

that is the only disclaimer i will make.

now that i have gotten that out of the way...now back to your not so regularly scheduled, fully expressed program:-)

there is a song that plays in my head as i look around from time to time and indulge in people watching, one of my favorite pasttimes.

my life is set to music. for pretty much any thought/memory i have, there is an artist that has already written and sung about it. funny that, artists actually causing one to think! can someone please let the new school so-called hip hop/r & b crowd know? geesh. it is a shame when one must look to england to get the closest dose of the lost artform.

the lyrics:


You should be stronger than me (i once had to explain this to a man in conversation. thank God! i wasn't misguided or unfortunate enough to try to date him.)
You been here seven years longer than me
Don't you know you supposed to be the man?
Not pale in comparison to who you think I am (if men, black ones in particular, held themselves to the same standard they hold bw women, it would be a NEW DAY. that is just an observation, i for one am NOT holding my breath.)

You always wanna talk it through

I don't care

I always have to comfort you
When I'm there
But that's what I need you to do
Stroke my hair
I've forgotten all of young love's joy (don't forget love's joy, walk away from the liability. stat.)
Feel like a lady, but you my lady boy ("lady boy" cracks me up-can't think of a better way to call the condition.)

You should be stronger than me
But instead you're longer than frozen turkey
Why'd you always put me in control?
All I need is for my man to live up to his role

You always wanna talk it through

I'm O.K.

I always have to comfort you
Everyday
But that's what I need you to do
Are you gay?

I've forgotten all of young love's joy
Feel like a lady, but you my lady boy

He said 'the respect I made you earn, thought you had so many lessons to learn'
I said 'you don't know what love is get a grip'
Sounds as if you're reading from so other tired script

I'm not gonna meet your mother anytime
I just wanna grip your body over mine (despite ALL other observations made, still maintaining this mindset is the quickest route to disgraced/dishonored baby mamadom---forget whatever else you heard! sex is designed for procreation. the ladyboy whose body you grip, may be the father of your child. WHY do that to yourself and the innocent child? think. do your part to help his useless genes die! NO BODY GRIPPING!!! stop the madness sisters. we have the power.)
So tell me why you think that's a crime (because it is. hence the aforementioned red comment. lol! i am cracking myself up right now!)

I've forgotten all of young love's joy
Feel like a lady and you my lady boy

You should be stronger than me (if he clearly demonstrates that he is not and has no idea of his two primary roles as a man---P&P ladies! RUN in the opposite direction of him; don't worry about appearing rude.)

now for the visuals and music. say what you like about Ms Winehouse, her music is amazing. she should have won awards for her music. now, if folks wanted to give her awards for her sustained sobriety...that would be a whole other Oprah.


Amy Winehouse- Stronger than me video



the images are a trip. but hey, i guess it is more acceptable when others say it?

i said it in the interest of...

self love~self acceptance~self respect

self destruction...

ok. it has been a few minutes. i intended to sit and write a certain post, then life intervened. lol!

we have the dunbar village trial in full swing. i have learned my stomach is not as strong as i would like it to be. i can't hang.

one should give thanks and praise to the most high that i am not in charge. it would be my order that the assailants and their trifling parents be thrown in a burning building and folks just walk away. seriously. the excuses are too much.

where is the sharpton clown now? hmmm?

then the Derrion Albert murder on video. as expected the excuses flow freely. who has time?

as the mother of a seventeen year old son, i used the video as a teaching tool. my son and i engaged in conversation about the real life experiences that he will encounter. i was reminded of one such real life experience i encountered last holiday season.

my friend girl and i were headed to the mall in hollywood, to return the jeans i purchased without trying on. don't quite know why i did that, nonetheless, they did not fit. as we are standing in a crowd of pedestrians, a black and hispanic male started to pound one another in the head right next to us.

the violence in such close proximity to me frightened me to no end. my instincts led me away from the melee. as my friend and i held hands running away from what became a brawl that spilled into the crosswalk and street, we encountered a group of young black males. they asked what was happening. we told them that there was violence in the direction from which we had come. to my utter amazement they went towards the violence despite our warnings to go in our direction. looking back, i could see shirts being ripped off and folks getting dragged across the concrete. my friend and i called the police and flagged down a police car to send them to assist the folks that were caught up as a result of waiting for the light to change.

as i watch the video of Derrion Albert, all i can think is he might have lived had he walked in wisdom and moved away from the violence. my beau says at least his mother knows he was being a good samaritan and attempting to break up the fight. my logic is, he could have moved away from the violence and called the police as an act of a good samaritan. a dead good samaritan is dead nonetheless.

watching the video made me think of another video. i am posting it here.









which leads me to something else that i read:





in the words of a great African scholar and author, Chinweizu:


“The n-i-g-g-e-r is the African mangled by white power, a peculiar travesty produced by centuries of European imperialism and Arab hegemony. And alas! After more than a century of being completely in the dungeons of White Power, all (most---some of us understand what we are seeing and refuse to become niggers) of us Africans today have become N-i-g-g-e-rs.


The N-i-g-g-e-r is the zombie into which White Power has deformed the African. The N-i-g-g-e-r is a fake African—a person of African race, who has been stripped of African culture, and who is culturally Eurocentric and Arabocentric.


The N-i-g-g-e-r is a biological African who has internalized white supremacist superstitions, and become Afrophobic and even Eurochauvinist…the N-i-g-g-e-r is a person with black skin, white mind and white spirit, an African salt that has lost its savor, brown sugar that has turned sour.


The N-i-g-g-e-r is a strange creature—the nominal African, who despises his race, denies African culture, demonizes his ancestors, and yet expects, even demands that people of the other self-respecting races of humanity should respect him and treat him as an equal member of humanity.


The N-i-g-g-e-r is possessed by the ideas and ideals of White Supremacy; the Afrocidal African who craves to be white, physically (eg. Wacko Jacko), or culturally (eg. The assortment of Black Europeans in the Homeland, Afro-Saxons in the Diaspora, and Omar Bashir with his criminal band of Arabizer—Jihadeer slavers and ethnic cleansers in the Sudan).”


in other places i have spoken at length about mentacide. mentacide is the condition whereby one acts without conscious thought against their own best interest(s). Dr. Bobby Wright wrote extensively about this condition. it has been diagnosed yet folks refuse to acknowledge it or act in ways to counter it. instead, i hear arguments about why the slur with "er" is different than the slur with "gga".


as a result of collective refusal to get real with ourselves and one another, we see and will continue to see episodes like the video of the murder of Derrion Albert play out time and again...Derrion Albert never had to worry about the klan, but he most definitely needed to be concerned about a fellow black man...

my sisters and daughters, you, too, need to be concerned. pay attention. act in your best interests at all times.


....i call it out in the interest of ...


self love~self acceptance~self respect

banging around in my head, not yet posted...

there is a new post that is nagging me.


unfortunately, i don't post incomplete nor rushed thoughts. so...i will come again when i have the time to really put my thoughts down in a way that fully represent what i feel led to say.

i must adhere to this standard that i have set for myself. my adherence allows me to post and not delete posts even when my position has changed, as it has, since i began this blog. each post is representative of where i was in the time that i published my thoughts for all to see...


i have relinquished all pressure that i impose on myself to post regularly. i am not in a season that allows or affords me such a luxury. pouring out my thoughts in leisure is just that...a luxury.



bear with me. i shall return...





self love~self respect~self acceptance

they don't really care about us

with all that is being said in the news about Michael Jackson, it has caused me to reflect.

i have a friend that admonishes me to stick with the micro. it has been my position and continues to be that the micro and the macro are connected and very much related. life seems to me, to be a collage of sorts. every little seemingly unrelated detail serves its intricate purpose in the bigger picture.

in truth, prior to his death, i had long ceased to give any thought to Michael Jackson. in fact, i found him to be an embarressment. his appearance was grotesque. i found it very difficult to look at him. this, despite, thinking him very handsome back when he still had the features and hue of a black man.

his obsession with whiteness bothered me more than i liked his music. his marriages struck me as typical. his wanting children that possessed nothing of him...well...that was extreme and further served as proof of his obsession with whiteness. it wasn't really typical though. i would describe it as bizarrely sick and truly self-hating. (i don't think that non bw that hate bw are necessarily "self-hating", but that's a whole other post.)

somewhere i read that Michael only wanted to do ten shows for his" this is it" tour. that he felt pressured to do the tours because his advisors warned him that he was insolvent. that he even shared with fans his anger by the fifty shows that were expected of him, shortly before he died. as i read, all i could think was, "dance negro! dance!".

which brings me to my favorite Michael Jackson song.

"they don't really care about us"

unfortunately, i cannot find the original lyrics. i remember them though. i remember this song and the controversy that surrounded it. you know, it is funny, i can remember certain times and events that i knew as i witnessed them that the person(s) involved would shortly be having a very different experience. lol! like when Arsenio Hall sat there talking to Minister Farrakhan on his show, nodding in agreement (gasp) and when Michael Jackson sang about "jew me, screw me" and "jew me, sue me". if you listen closely, it seems that this version still holds some of the original lyrics where MJ sings about "kick me, kike me". i take it he was VERY angry with a few jews during this time.

i remember his apology, his re-writing the lyrics, and re-shooting the video. not too long after that i remember the child molestation accusations first beginning to surface. it does not pay to offend the jews. this fact may explain why no prominent powerful one speaks against the terrorism and human rights violations that israel perpetuates against the palestinians on the regular. anyhoo, back to Michael Jackson...





i feel tremendously sad for Michael Jackson's mother and family. i pray that Michael Jackson will now know peace.


on a different note, if lyrics can be changed despite artistic expression and freedom of speech when it offends the jews; it is difficult to pretend that the offense and disrespect heaped on black women, in the name of entertainment is anything other than deliberate and with the purpose of destroying us.




self love~self acceptance~self respect